|
The Flight Response
The Flight Response is that innate urge to run away from danger. When humans experience fear, the body is filled with arousal energy for movement away from the dangerous
situation. The underlying assumption for choosing this response is that something very threatening must be avoided, for this is a win-lose competition and the self would surely be the loser. This is a very adaptive
strategy when there is clear and present physical danger. This was particularly true before the advent of mind. For as we know, along with the mind came the need to self-develop and the challenge of achieving spiritual
expression through its filter. We know now that even a signal for self-development feels like one for self-preservation, prompting
avoidance and escape.
When we meet that bear in the woods, taking flight is still a very practical course to follow. However,
in modern life, we tend to avoid that experience for less physically threatening ones. More often, our "bears" are the mentally and emotionally threatening. How we relate to them requires a different tactic.
Therefore, there are some particular sticky results from these constraints upon the Flight Response. First,
running away is rarely appropriate. In fact, it should be a last ditch response only when all other options have met with failure. This Flight Response now takes the form of physically leaving an environment that does
not accommodate need-meeting efforts. This can be the retreat from a relationship, a marriage, a job, a club, a religion, a country or even a life, if needs cannot truly be met due to immovable obstacles. It can be a
temporary retreat to cool off, to regroup, to restrategize; or it can be a permanent retreat to more free and opportune systems, relationships or geographic locales. This is the only appropriate form, and is a final
option .
The action of "last resort" is often selected before other options have been considered. It's the old
proverb of the grass looking greener on the other side of the fence. It's only after we spend some time in that other "grass" that we come to perceive that it wasn't all that much greener. A
"retreat" is a less emotional action if it includes an intent to review and reconsider. The final departure from a situation, in a certain sense, can be premature and a lesson-avoiding experience.
The Flight Response is very automatic and shows up in very subtle, yet insidious, ways. For example, with the advent of mind there came
the option of internal retreats---internal flights from perceived danger. The word perceived is used because this perception may or may not have an external validity, of which we know the mind does not know or care.
It operates as if every content is actual and real, as is its job.
Worse, whenever a learning experience is necessary and a growing pain
is experienced, the first automatic and easiest response is one of avoidant defense.
This is one of our tougher challenges
in life, i.e. accepting unpleasant "experiences" for their educational value. At the very moment we are in them, they may likely seem of little value, but once completed and reflected upon, they turn out to be
pure gold in the economy of spiritual growth.
All mental flight responses are maladaptive, nonproductive and hurtful. They
are rationalizations, placing blame, scapegoating or otherwise finding alternative explanations for deficiencies. They allow virtually anything except entertaining the possibility that problems lie within the self. Each
mental flight is a psychological retreat---an act of self-deception. Such escapism always slows or stops self-development and can be quite damaging, yet such reactions are extremely common.
In a society where materialism is encouraged, we are conditioned to believe that acquiring some "thing" will automatically bring us a greater level of happiness.
Why fix it when you can replace it. Just as this tends to rob us of the opportunity to exercise our personal ingenuity, the flight from unpleasant emotional situations tends to rob us of our ability to relate to our
fellow beings in more human terms.
Escapist actions are apparent everywhere. Humans seek mental retreats from emotional pain
through defense mechanisms, withdrawal, avoidant tendencies, distractions, and compulsive behaviors. Such mental escapism is all captured within the umbrella concept of denial.
How many times have we heard the comment, "Oh. He's in denial." Or "She isn't facing the reality of their relationship." Sometimes we tend to
maintain the status quo by mentally avoiding the obvious. This, too, is a form of "retreat" from reality.
Denial
is the tendency to avoid that which is staring one right in the face. The information is avoided because its acknowledgment would be painful. Denial can be a subtle escape from (or avoidance of) any situation which
could cause the emotional signal. This includes even the minor
anxiety of growing pains. This means that learning experiences would be avoided. This is not spiritually desirable, but the human defenses are prone to do just that, without rational understanding of the feeling.
Our society is one that is founded on the Anglo-Saxon code of relationships. We tend to maintain a certain distance from each
other, a restraint seen in most European countries such as England, Germany and the Scandinavian cultures. Southern European countries have much less difficulty expressing emotional relationships and, in fact, tend to
be quite vulnerable to each other, when carried to an extreme. This, too, can be a handicap.
In our baseball example, if the
struggling child would not admit his own need for assistance, a mental escape would allow him to "save face". He could come up with any number of ideas that would explain his lack of success at hitting the
ball. This is self-deception, but it offers relief from the emotional signal by adopting an avoidant idea.
We suffer from the
illusion that to "ask for" or "accept" an offer of help, is an admittance of weakness. We males are more prone to this condition. After all, what do we do when we're lost? First, we don't admit it
and then we avoid asking for directions as long as possible. Adults are often nothing more than oversized children.
Humans
are extremely resourceful in their denial. It is a subtle, even subconscious, habit that must be guarded against. But denial is not a lone avoidant strategy. For humans also have many other creative diversions that
successfully avoid and quiet unpleasant feelings.
After all, with our physical, mental and emotional components, we are
rather complex beings. Complexity can be a plus, but only if the parts work in unison toward a positive end.
Distraction is
also a handy Flight Response. Humans distract themselves from bad feelings by behaving in ways that bring pleasure. They can escape into safe and fantastic imagined realms through books, television, films, or other
entertainment; they can focus intently on distracting or thrilling tasks, they can eat, socialize, work or make love. Certain of these diversions are harmless, even quite rewarding, in moderation.
It is when a "distraction" becomes an obsession to the point of shielding us from our overall areas of growth, that it needs to be examined from a more
detached perspective.
But any such activity in direct response to (or avoidance of) emotional pain, does nothing to resolve
the imbalance. In excess, they can even become neurotic compulsions and the feelings will only get stronger. They will linger continuously, smoldering just beneath the surface of consciousness, prompting further
mindless, non-productive, compulsive, bizarre, or unhealthy actions. This cycle can continue indefinitely until the basic underlying sliver is removed, or the body wears out. This avoidant strategy would yield a
painful, hellish (and perhaps short) existence.
In a way, when a Flight Response becomes a clear avoidance from a reality we
should be facing, and becomes a sliver in need of removal, it has gone beyond merely an educational experience. It has become a threat to our natural progression. As we become more sensitive to the internal signals
designed to keep us on our intended course, we will also experience declines in our tendency to digress from our intended path. An analogy might be our experience when first learning to drive a car. Unsure of ourselves,
we might have over-corrected when steering our way down the road. In time, we felt more comfortable and found that we hardly had to move the steering wheel at all, much less focus all our mental powers on that specific
act. A practice once learned, is not forgotten. This is equally true of the creative thinking process.
Another psychological
Flight Response is the human practice of actually altering the physical chemistry to relieve emotional dissonance through medicating the body with alcohol, nicotine and other drugs. Of course, chemical manipulation of a
healthy emotional system can only rob humans of its advantages and indeed, can cause irreparable harm.
There is a difference
between taking a drink to relax and guzzling an excessive amount in order to put a troubling reality out of one's mind. The former can possibly enhance our health while the latter is a direct threat to it.
One need not look far to see liberal, reckless use of the Flight Response. But optimally it should be chosen with foresight and
exercised with caution. It does not resolve the conflict, nor restore the balance, and it can desensitize one from their own emotional signals, to the point where they deny the feelings themselves.
We need not look far to find examples in our surroundings. Sometimes, no farther than our bathroom mirror. But a great deal of our limitations were planted in us
at an early age by those well-meaning people who suffered from the same type of programming. In fact, we too have done the same. We need not expand that pattern. Free will is still our heritage.
In short, the Flight Response should be saved for a last-ditch corrective option, and diligent efforts should be expended to avoid this particularly tenacious,
hardwired, avoidant response.
If the above material doesn't make that point - then experience will.
The Fight Response
The other avoidant response is, of course, the Fight Response. This is the
active, expressive form of resistance in which external force is used to overcome the danger or to change it in some way. It is a relative (perhaps the evil twin) of the Light Response, but without the acceptance of the
situation nor the spirit of cooperation. It is the competitive
response to limitation, obstacles, lack of resources or opportunity.
This is the glorified 'Response', the one we most often
honor with statues and speeches. For many, it is a sport - for others, it is an enterprise. Nations rise and fall on the success or failure of this 'Response' and we build our economy and culture around it.
The Fight Response seeks to correct or reshape the external world so that it can better accommodate a need-meeting effort. Initially,
the Fight Response ensured that humans would survive by meeting their needs through competitive brute force when necessary. The assumption justifying this response is that only one winner can emerge, that this is surely
a competitive win-lose proposition and a win is necessary to self protect.
Today, that mentality is used as a justification
for working long hours, putting up with treatment that humans should not have to tolerate. It maintains the fear of being without as a result of not having a source of income. We reward and glorify the winners and curse
or forget the losers. But there is a balance in nature that guarantees that all winners eventually become losers.
Until
societies fully acknowledge human nature and accommodate the need-meeting choices of their citizens, this response will still be appropriate, for resistance to any ideas or codes which deny needs of spirit is what the
Creator desires. If this were not true, humans would not experience anger, the self-preservationary aggressive response. Political resistance, even revolutionary actions, which stand up for human rights are historically
evident and understandably beneficial. If the oppression is mighty, even war can be beneficial.
Differences that escalate
from the opportunity to reason to the state of combat, whether it be on the battlefield or the court room, are ultimate proof that reasonable effort has failed. The final value of extreme consequences is, hopefully, the
lessons learned from the experience. That should be why we study history.
However, this is merely due to the
misunderstanding of human nature and needs, and the miscommunication between spirit, mind and body. Such limits continue to exist within societies, but in an enlightened society, Light Responses are received and
assimilated which continuously expand freedoms and opportunities. They ultimately evolve away from the need for spiritual resistance.
Just as computers can be taught not to make the same mistake a second time, so we can learn the value of a broadened approach to the normal frictions of life. Someone once
said that the words "Please", Thank
You", and "Excuse Me", were the lubricants of social interaction.
When such limitation still exists, the Fight Response is a necessary choice. Of course, a modern version would be to communicate the problem and your non-acceptance of it.
Doing this in a peaceful manner, within the acceptable avenues of change already in place within ones society, is the best method. This is why there are social, judicial or political processes in the more enlightened
societies for the resolution of such conflicts. Usually, however, by the time a Fight Response is necessary, the limitation is firmly entrenched and accepted within the social order.
When so-called "more enlightened societies" practice the use of these "social, judicial or political processes" within their respective
societies, but revert to the "fight response" in dealing with other societies they have differences with, they set an example that makes it more difficult for those societies with less history and tradition in
using the social, judicial and political process, to follow the "enlightened" path. Example is the most effective form of leadership.
There still exist many
societies on earth wherein the credo is "severity for those who resist". Such countries fail to recognize the individual needs and the fact that they take priority over the group needs within its members.
There is much institutionalized suffering as a result. Any country that feels it needs a wall to contain its members has mistaken operational directives, clearly not aligned with spiritual intention.
Of course, the walls are starting to come down. But when a physical wall falls, it is only a metaphor for the intellectual and emotional walls
that can follow. But, if the mental attitude is still one of winner over loser, (or one system claiming its superiority over another) then the struggle/conflict atmosphere will remain in place.
Fortunately, the world has now evolved to the point that there are countries that do provide escape from oppression, which ensures that Flight Responses, when
necessary, can be effective. Eventually, those ideas that perpetuate
the spirit will win out, if enough interaction between cultures is allowed. But progress could be increased exponentially with the understandings which restore spiritual intention to the process.
The communication technology is expanding "exponentially" and making the above more possible every day. This web/e-mail process is its own example. Although
these Lessons may not be traveling across borders, the potential for them to do so is present. Of course, "borders" is also a term that can be applied to each individual mind, as well as to geography.
The United States is an excellent training ground for such an exchange of ideas, through promoting values of freedom, equitable
opportunity and happiness. This country recognizes both the
individual and the group needs, in a world where it has been traditional for societies to choose one over the other. Although they have yet to attain the optimal balance between the two, this is evolving well. With the worldwide communication and mobility, many American ideals are rapidly
being spread throughout the world, some of which are beneficial to global evolution.
It would be comforting to believe that
our more spiritually oriented ideals are spreading into other portions of the planet with the same zeal as our economic practices, i.e. NAFTA and GATT. The success of the former would be tied to a more enlightened
motivation.
Rejection of resistance is also the basic premise within most religions. Their method of oppression is through introducing further slivers when any conflicts are
exposed. They offer bribes and threats to talk humans out of their basic needs, rather than accommodate them The confessional booth for example, often brings to light conflicts between human need and religious dictate.
Although it is unlikely that the priest will take certain suggestions to the Pope, this is exactly what the spirit---The Creator---is requesting.
It is suggested that individuals within any religious organization, make Right Responses to reject any limiting dictate and keep only those
which satisfy the spirit, so that they can enjoy the benefits of religion and without suffering the grossly misleading costs.
This may sound like the source is picking on organized religion and, in a sense, it is. But spiritual institutions which represent
spiritual ideals must be willing to risk an alteration of the status quo in order to experience growth. If these "institutions" fail to grow, the whole process is handicapped. Then, what growth does take
place, has to come about in the form of Fight Response types of action, more commonly known as revolution . This "r" word is too often a "last resort" course of expansion.
Summary Of Behavioral Corrective Response
Each and every human behavior, be it thought or
action, falls into one of these categories. Each is motivated by a feeling. Although many such feelings are subtle, there is a constantly available, yet changing emotional energy underlying every human motive to act.
If each action is analyzed, it shall become apparent that without
exception, it will be motivated by either a Right, Light, Flight or Fight Response.
Within the feedback paradigm, emotion is exposed as the crucial communicative tie which either unites or separates, mind, body and spirit.
This suggests that "emotion" or feelings, not reason or logic, are the primary motivators of action. How we feel about things and people governs how we relate to
them. Ultimately, it is probable that our perspective is strongly influenced by our emotions and we conduct ourselves accordingly.
With this crucial information at the disposal of humans, they can begin to monitor and utilize the essential messages of the spirit. They can understand their behaviors by
finding the underlying feelings. They can identify the gems and slivers by following them to their source. They can make reasoned choices for their corrective responses to imbalances. These can be optimal choices which
contribute to individual and mass evolution. They can even make plenty of human mistakes, but they will be far ahead of the game with such a strategy. For this inner gift will always be present to guide them even from
the darkest, most painful moments back into the light.
When it becomes particularly obvious that some action we took has led
to less than positive consequences, we can now analyze it from a state of detachment and determine what our original thought was that led us to where we are and where we are going to be, if we continue along the same
direction:
Watch your thoughts, they become your words.
Watch your words, they become your actions.
Watch your actions, they become your habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS, THEY BECOME YOUR DESTINY.
Each such soldier of light can contribute to the wave of consciousness expansion which shall soon crash upon human shores. Even with
minimal understanding of the subtleties of the emotional sense, anyone can join this effort. They can do so simply by following some elementary behavioral guidelines. All it takes is a genuine commitment to self-development and expression, honest
self-analysis and logical order in the choice of corrective response.
If we think of emotion as the power source and logic as the decision making process, we can relate our actions to that of driving an automobile, again. The fuel (emotion)
drives the engine that propels us forward (or backward) and is controlled by the accelerator and the brake (self discipline). The steering wheel (reasoning mind) is used to make the necessary course corrections as we
proceed on our path of destiny. So much of our life is a reflection of these simple principles of activity, without which societies would not be able to function.
Many scourges upon humanity are the direct result of humans choosing the response choices in the wrong order.
There are certainly notable exceptions, but for the most part self-preservation creates the "normal" urge to action in the
following order:
1. Deny feelings, take Flight from pain, (even growing pain)
2. Fight to maintain emotional boundaries
3. Right if unavoidable
4. Light when possible
Changing
this pattern alone can create enormous and immediate growth.
When we first begin to drive, we are more preoccupied with
operating the automobile than with getting from point A to point B. Eventually, we develop more faith in ourselves and our vehicle, and the pleasure of the trip increases. We move from fear and lack of confidence to joy
and fulfillment, as this new experience becomes a natural part of our living process.
Although there are more understandings
to come, anyone wishing to join the forces of light can simply follow this simple strategy to guide their behavior and to experience tremendous progress.
To live within spiritual intention from this moment forth:
1. Listen to feelings; resist denial of emotional messages.
2. Right first.
3. If obstacles persist, cooperate and offer Light.
4. If obstacles persist, resist, compete and Fight.
5. If obstacles persist, take Flight.
It is amazing what a little focus and caring can do to smooth out the bumps in life. As stated earlier, just as the words "please, thank you and excuse
me" can lubricate the communication between people. We all tend to respond positively to being treated with respect, once we come to respect ourselves and all those around us.
Each successful day of living within spiritual intention will allow evermore complete understandings to unfold. With this simple behavioral guidance, the spirit can
begin to sing.
Not much can be added to that statement!
We can now press on to examine the specific feelings themselves. Each understanding will assist in the full restoration of the
innate emotional sense, understanding of the Language of Spirit---The
Language of God.
Table of Contents |