Section Delta  Lesson Two: Implications For Childrearing  The Parental Responsibility  The implications of spiritual reconnection have profound impact upon how humans treat their offspring. Each interaction between parent and child will be a formative one, from the very moment of conception, throughout the first several decades of life. In the womb, the emerging spirit will be slipping on the chemical cloak which can be severely influenced by the actions of the host mother. Later, upon birth, the spirit's dependence upon the state of the body will be compounded by its complete reliance upon the caregivers to instill the preliminary contents of the mind. If that weren't enough for concern, the entire emotional relationship with the world will depend upon the early relationship the infant has with the caregivers. If there is a single example of "oneness" for any and all to observe, THIS IS IT. From the very beginning of a person's existence, the relationship between parent and child is of critical and constant importance.  At present, conditions for an incoming spirit are far from optimal. Confused parents have no universal guidelines and are left to fall back upon patterns from their own upbringing---both good and bad. Most parental missteps are self-preservationary fight and flight responses: The venting of emotional frustrations in explosive outbursts; or the attempt to exert control through fear and violent punishment; or the escape from parental pressures through denial, compulsive activities, substance abuse or outright abandonment. Sadly, many parents do not even exercise free will in the decision to become a parent. Many seek to fulfill connection and esteem needs through sexuality, resulting in unwanted pregnancies. Just as many more start a family simply because it is expected of them. The enlightened approach is for parents to fully embrace and to purposefully commit to their responsibility for the physical, mental, and emotional development of their children.  Even Dr. Spock's book on child care does not clearly explore the spiritual tie between parent and child before the moment of birth. Nor does it explain the true importance of getting beyond the mere survival of the relationship. The broadened view of these "Lessons" starts the act of parenting before the very moment of conception and continues as long as appropriate, stretching the limit of our understanding far beyond our own experiences and into the realm of spiritual growth.  The Parental Choice  The first optimal condition for bringing forth life is when the role of parenthood is purposefully chosen by two loving, bonded entities, who have made prior preparations of mind and body. The mind is prepared by enrichment with prevailing wisdom, evaluated of course against the wisdom of spirit. Prior to conception, the body can be prepared by fortification, fitness, and enriched nutrients within both mother and father, as well as a period of abstinence from any debilitating activity or substance. Such conditions are continued by the mother throughout the pregnancy and duration of lactation.  The preparations for parenthood are no less important than the preparation for any other career in life. Except in this case, one is preparing to create the environment for another life to go from spirit to physical reality. There is hardly a more important role.  There is, fortunately, a tremendous amount of spiritual resilience and a level to which the incoming spirit can directly influence the physical development, despite a lack of preparation on the part of the parents. Many spirits work behind the scenes, making deals with familial entities on other levels of consciousness to ensure a destined conception will occur, and imparting feelings within both parents to make the parental choice, as well as to impart urges for the mother to eat or do certain things that will help the developing form. But the level of parents' receptivity to such actions dictates the level of success, and is dependent upon their own level of enlightenment. The influence of the incoming spirit can range anywhere from a complete and total cooperative effort between parents and child, to a complete competition between parasite and host.  It should be clear that a society that values new life will provide the best possible environment for that life to be born into. Life is sacrosanct – new life particularly so.  In the latter case, the free will of the mother is primary and a choice to discontinue any pregnancy should remain within the realm of option. For even a mother who chooses to offer an unplanned infant for adoption after birth, has a tremendous role in its proper physical development. This means a committed, cooperative effort at least through the duration of pregnancy to ensure a normally developed body for each incoming spirit. Anything less would be a violation upon the child as well as upon unsuspecting adoptive parents.  There is nothing mentioned in the above paragraphs about the benefits to the unborn child which might result from an abortion. The emphasis would appear to be on those acts which would make the child's environment as friendly as possible.  The choice to parent is clouded with many limiting beliefs and myths which unnecessarily challenge nontraditional families. Despite such obstacles, there are many variations upon the family unit that can meet with equal success in childrearing. Assumptions that only the biological parents should raise a given child are inaccurate and limiting. As long as a support network is in place wherein the child has the opportunity to learn from many loving adults, it matters not what style of family is involved. The cooperative nature of conception between mother and father and again between mother and child evidences the Divine intention of cooperation in general, and the desirability of both male and female influences, not necessarily that they are to be the only potential parents to the incoming spirit.  The opportunity to be a loving parent to any child outweighs any lesser role in a society. Other vocations might result in discovering some solution to a collectively serious health problem for example, but nothing can exceed the importance of giving another human being a loving environment in which to evolve spiritually.  The power of procreation should be highly respected, with the right to choose, the accountability and responsibility of the choice widely available to all involved. Should the potential parent not yet be ready to take on that responsibility, replacements can and should be made wherein one abdicates to another who offers a full commitment. In such cases, the earlier the chosen parents participate, the better, to ensure adequate physical development of the child. The best case scenario is to provide wisdom, assistance and support and make the pregnancy a cooperative effort within the host mothers and minimize the chance of careless activities which could adversely affect the developing child. In short, if a child is to be invited into the physical realm, the biological mother must be willing and able to fully commit to the needs of the child within throughout gestation. Anything less justifies ---and indeed justly requires---the option of abortion.  In other words, a developing child existing in an environment which can have a seriously adverse effect upon his/her future existence in the physical realm, should be allowed to exit that state and find another opportunity of better conditions. When nature steps in to terminate the process, it is called a miscarriage.  The Parental Role - Physical Development  The conditions of gestation must ensure the presence of an adequate amount of nutrients and the absence of toxic substances within the maternal system. There is no need to go too far in the opposite direction in an attempt to improve the internal conditions, flooding the body with excessive amounts of vitamins or other "enhancing" substances. This would be the mind, again attempting to second guess the wisdom of body and spirit, wherein the best of intentions can actually backfire.  It's the old adage of too much of a good thing becoming a bad thing. We see much evidence of this today, particularly in the area of exercise. Those prone to excess become workaholics, marathon runners, overachievers, etc., until their lives begin to fracture and their relationships break apart. Moderation in all things is still a wise guideline. Based on the above paragraph, the propensity for excess might just be laid much earlier in our lives than we suspected.  With an adequate chemical balance, nature's miracle of reproduction unfolds quite naturally, but its inherent biological projections cannot prevent external chemical assault caused by the mother herself. To date, many infants are born with compromised bodies and brains due to self-destructive tendencies of the mother. Many toxic substances are routinely ingested which create weakness and developmental delays and disallow the spirit a full and complete chance at physical viability. Drug and alcohol abuse create insurmountable conditions and often irreversible effects, underscoring the crucial commitment to the child beginning with conception.  In a drug oriented society, too much emphasis is placed upon achieving solutions to our problems through the ingestion of substances outside of ourselves. This can range from something as immaterial as beliefs to something as materially destructive as heroin. As previously related, this is our orientation and the above is too often the consequence. It's not that we are taught to take illegal drugs at an early age (although "example" can be very educationally effective), it's that we give our children legal medical drugs so readily that, come adulthood, the lines of common sense become blurred.  In addition to a balanced chemical environment, the incoming spirit can also be benefitted by mental, visceral, and verbal expressions of love while still in the womb. The brain itself can be developmentally reinforced by external stimulation from the parents. Activities such as creating or listening to music, speaking soothingly, and reading to the developing fetus can all bolster the brain development. Visualization of future family harmony and subjective communications wherein love energy is directed toward the incoming spirit are also very powerful. The love energy spans space-time, it beacons and welcomes, attracting those with chosen destinies matching the conditions offered. Adoptive parents can also interact in these ways during gestation to begin spiritual and emotional bonding.  Yes, talking or reading to the unborn child can and does have a positive effect. Oh, that the evening news would announce the entire above paragraph to be, at the very least, likely "true". Of course, in our competitive world, some parents would be prone to "overdo". Overall, though, the above paragraph is probably one of the most important pieces of guidance in these Lessons.  After birth, the parental responsibility for the child's physical development will continue in the form of lifestyle choices. These choices include nutritional support through intelligent approaches to diet, the physical safety through instructional awareness of environmental hazards, and musculoskeletal vitality through regular creative movement.  In other words, find a good "motherly" example, and follow it! Review the material of these "Lessons" and meditate on it. Trust in the All That Is and find joy in the parental role...and if your parental role is behind you, never, ever say to yourself, would that I knew what I know now.  Most parents have access to information through the health care professions that can allow a fetus and infant adequate physical development. The bottom line is to ensure a normally developed body, followed by providing the necessities to meet basic survival needs. The lesser understood and more challenging parental responsibilities lie in the realm of mental and emotional development.  Here is where the information which follows will be most helpful.  The Parental Role - Mental Development  There is substantial overlap between physical brain development and mental development. Brain development is synonymous with mental expansion and is tremendously influenced by the people who comprise the foster environment. Brain cells bud and branch forth as mind expands. Scientists are correct when they note that memory nodes exist which can be physically manipulated to influence the state of mind. But they are incorrect to assume that consciousness arises from brain tissue alone. For mind is far more than brain tissue, it is alive with the voice of spirit which spurs it toward purposeful development. Thus, children are far more capable of understanding and decision-making than most parental myths might suggest.  They did an experiment in which they placed a variety of baby foods in front of a child of six months and watched to see whether he would go for the vegetables or the fruits, etc. The child, familiar with all the foods, went for the better tasting choices and it was presumed that if, given the free will to choose, would continue to eat nothing but that which was pleasing to the pallet. However, it soon became apparent that this was not so as the child in due course, ate all of the foods and naturally consumed a perfectly balanced diet. How many mothers wish they had known that when they were trying to get Johnny/Jannie to try the mashed peas when the child clearly didn't want to try them.  In order to fully accommodate free will, the brain will expand or contract upon the chosen contents of mind. It will be stretched to accommodate the most technologically complex mental scenarios, or it could be prepared for a far simpler approach to life. The mind, of course, is the constellation of all contents of belief, knowledge, and strategies learned throughout the life which characterize an individual. This mental flexibility ensures that any lifestyle choice, worldview, or culture can be chosen as the primary focus of a given life. The brain is primed to absorb a great deal of information as early as possible to set the primary mental stage. But there is a limited window of opportunity during this period, a window which narrows after the initial mental stage is set. This fact of biology evidences the Creator's intention for each spirit's choice to enter and focus within a particular space-time cultural scenario and the Divine effort to facilitate their particular destiny path.  There is a point in a person's life when decisions have to be made as to what direction the mind will focus for the maximum opportunity for spiritual growth. From this point, intent follows this freely arrived at decision. This does not prohibit the later decision to go in a different direction, if knowledge and circumstances dictate. Free Will always remains in place.  Thus, early mental development depends upon stimulation. Despite notions to the contrary, the child can take in and understand far more, if challenged than when being shielded from anything "too complex." The best rule of thumb for parents is: the more early intellectual stimulation, the better. There are neural circuits in the brain that will quite literally shut down if they are not stimulated during the early years. Providing a rich array of sensory stimulus can switch them on, and allow them to branch forth into complex neural networks that can later be utilized for more complex thought.  The tendency in current societal beliefs is that if there are signs of above average intelligence, then stimulation should follow. Too often, a parent will form a false judgment about the mental inferiority of a child and, consequently, elect to withhold the needed stimulation. Mental development comes in a variety of forms and challenges the parent to determine what form it has taken.  The more direct complex communication, the sooner language can be acquired. (Each parental expression of "baby talk" actually robs the child of an opportunity to grasp adult language). Reading aloud throughout childhood is a powerful positive interactive activity, to stimulate imagination and diversity of thought as well as to facilitate language skills. Likewise, subjective imaging, dream interpretation and manipulation, meditative visualization, and telepathic exercises and games can develop neural networks and mental abilities now largely dormant. Any such activity that exercises the mind's ability to focus in altered states of consciousness can ignite many hidden inner mental abilities. This is not to say that a child should be over-stimulated. Following a child's cues and allowing the natural curiosity to blossom in individual pursuits will ensure the necessary balance.  The key word here is "challenge". With a slight shift in our presumptions with regard to the universal mental capabilities of children, we can begin to serve as the best possible thing that can happen to a child, when it comes to natural development. No one can show more love for a child than its parents and no one is in a better position to optimize that love.  Beyond these implications upon brain development, lie the equally important implications of the parental role upon imparting the specific contents of mind: the artifacts of culture, the beliefs, truths, and traditions that are imparted from one generation to the next. The parents cannot help but pass along their own cultural wisdom and values to the child. The child observes the caregiver's actions and each will model and display their mental strategies---complete with each gem and sliver. But it is a dangerous myth that only one set of ideas is the best and only to be offered. Or, that children can be protected from the realities of a cruel world, sheltered within a family or religious cocoon. For to under-stimulate or under-expose a child can do more damage than good.  If children are to be given the opportunity and encouragement to exercise their Creator's gift of free will and furnished with the tools to make the most direct contact with their Spirit natures, then a parent must accept that the children will not (and should not) become just a cloned copy of the adult. We would hope that the opposite would be true since there is so much "slivered" material in human society today. Those teachings that are in alignment with spirit will be surely accepted and those that are not should be rejected, regardless of their source.  In the complex world that exists today, mass consciousness has an inescapable effect upon children.The mind of man is the complex mass reality, the cooperative product, that humans have created and are quite literally limited within, until they design it to be free of all limitation. The challenge to each incoming spirit is to develop the mind to work within the existing limitations and achieve individual expressions which remove unnecessary limitations. The illusory trap of mass conscience as a singular unavoidable reality, often mires the mind to the degree that it loses touch with its very free will.  The first step on the road to "enlightenment" is to see the world as it is, with all its virtues and shortcomings and then, with the guidance of spirit, make those changes within oneself (and ultimately wherever opportunity takes us) which will propel us toward our collective optimum potential.  But humans are indeed in creative control over defining the earthly experience. The cultural creations---the mental and physical man-made technology---now overrule many natural processes. Humans have devised a phenomenal technological capacity to share information. They share through newspapers, magazines, televisions and computers, bringing mass consciousness to the doorstep of many who were once isolated. Ideas, actions and truths from many conflicting perspectives now bombard and confuse. Humans are often unaware of their own free will to accept or deny such information, and are continuously stressed with conflicting feelings and information overload. Opportunities of communication are covering the planet like a fine-meshed blanket, thanks to this thriving new idea called the "internet". The downside of this age of communication and interchange of information is the threat of "overload" and subsequent closing down of our mental systems. The fact is we don't have to absorb it all. On the contrary, a great deal of it is redundant. However, that said, it would be hoped that this "Lessons" material does capture a primary level of attention, as it is most certainly essential to our optimum growth in all areas of life.  This is not to condemn the human ability to share information, but to point out that it has replaced much of the interaction with the world that is necessary to impart individual beliefs tailored to the unique spirit. Human technology has empowered mass consciousness often at the expense of individual consciousness. As well as offering confusion, it can perpetuate a singular, limited worldview rather than facilitating the diversity of thought, belief, and choices of living that are optimal for earthly spirits.  Particularly through the medium of television, vast numbers of people are being exposed to beliefs and patterns of thought without being given the opportunity to raise questions about the wisdom of the information. Hopefully, this particular medium which these Lessons are being transmitted through, i.e. the web site, will enable those exposed to it to indulge in an ongoing dialogue, even to the point of enhancing the full understanding and appreciation of All That Is being imparted.  Children---now more than ever---must be taught to utilize the internal spiritual adjudicator in order to sift through the mountains of existing choices to design a mental landscape that matches the desires of spirit. Instead, mass consciousness presently sets forth values, views, assumptions, and activities which become cultural norms with which individuals feel compelled to conform. These norms close the mind to other values and ways of thinking and acting, many of which are far more desirous by spirit. Many such norms hold unrealistic standards of appearance, morality, and behavior which defy the standards and diversity of nature. A mind that attempts to adopt ways that go against its natural leanings is doomed to create emotional pain, as the slivers signal the ongoing disapproval of spirit.  Our present society is laced with much evidence of the emotional pain that results from beliefs and practices that our spirit nature finds to be in contradiction to the truths it attempts to lead us toward. We create our consequential problems and then spend nearly incalculable hours attempting to solve them via less than spiritual means. We make "war" on poverty, ignorance, drugs, and assorted "isms" of politics, economies and religions, using the weapons that ultimately create old and new enemies, which exist within ourselves.  The parental task is to ensure the exposure to many ideas---resisting the fear-driven temptation to control information or to shield the child---and instead to help the children to enlist the emotional system to guide their willful choices. Ultimately human technology, when utilized under the direction of spirit, can be tremendously valuable in imparting universal understandings and focusing humans upon group goals. When the species has reached this level, the corresponding feelings of joy and happiness will replace the present emotional pain and stress that accompanies complex technology.  The point made here is a valid one. Technology is not a threat to spirituality, but rather a tool of optimum expression, one which when properly utilized, can enhance and broaden our whole being.  But until then, this poses the unique challenge to parents of instilling a breadth of understanding and the importance of free will, yet realistically balanced within the existing limitations, structures, and rules of mass consciousness. It is to teach them how to utilize the inner system to adapt to existing conditions in order to be successful and to make individual spiritual expressions which creatively change the world for the better.  The parent is to achieve this ideal with the help of his/her own spirit, once he/she can reestablish that element of trust. Putting into practice those things which are explained and advocated herein is an important step in that direction.  Thus, an essential offering from parent to child is the understanding that all incoming information is conditional upon validation of the emotional adjudicator. When knowledge is offered, for example, a parent might preface it by saying: "This is what I have learned, and works best for me, and you might find it helpful." and follow it by saying: "How do you feel about it?" Or when watching TV, "This is what the creators of this program have found to be true for them. Try it on for size and see if it feels like it fits." This approach sets the mental stage for the child to understand the complex intermingling realities, the flexibility and power of mind, the essential evaluation role of spirit, and to maintain individual choice in all situations.  The greatest challenge will be in helping children deal with peer pressure, since other parents may not be as aware and enlightened. The child should come to know the true meaning of "being in the world but not of it", maintaining that degree of detachment that is essential for balanced success in dealing with and creating one's reality.  Questioning and debate should then be encouraged and facilitated in many forums. An open, flexible mind should be assumed and perpetuated at all times. It is critical to understand that the parent is simply assisting in the choices of free will for the child until the child is capable of doing so for his or her self. The purpose of self-development of mind should permeate the life and traditions of all within the family community.  Guidance can replace autocratic control where there is mutual respect for the spirit within each human being, be they child or parent. When this environment is maintained, the spirit thrives.  Drawing the child's attention to how each situation feels, relating it to the chosen beliefs which guide the actions, is to bring awareness of the importance of the voice of spirit. Any incoming information that is natural, enduring, and spiritual will be validated by the internal voice of spirit through the feeling system. Likewise, any cultural knowledge that is helpful toward meeting needs and is consistent with other beliefs, will also be validated by the emotional system as long as it remains effective.  The really significant part of this process is that children are naturally closer to their feelings and will be able to sense their spirit guidance without all the baggage their parents have been loaded down with from their outer environment.  An enlightened lifestyle is one which also incorporates open, regular, communication in which the expression of dreams, goals, thoughts, feelings and experiences creates discussion, reflection, and the sharing of insights among loved ones. This type of activity facilitates the development of individuals as well as the development of family and group goals. The dinner hour already provides a group forum where daily activities are shared. Adding self-knowledge, feedback feelings and what they mean can foster connection, understanding, social skill enhancement, fulfillment, and family cohesion. Drawing connections between daily actions, feelings, outcomes, and needs can tremendously empower a child. Examining daily events wherein the actions of others seek to manipulate the emotions or seek self preservation can bolster understandings and identify effective strategies for interacting with less enlightened others. Parents can point out and safeguard against the deadly habits of resistance, resentment and revenge, as well as their effects upon the spirit. Reflecting upon unacceptable anger-invoking events with humor, compassion, tolerance, and forgiveness can instill life-giving habits.  Would that such a family environment could be created, even as a fictional setting such as a regular television series, broadcast by a major network, but set in present times with current challenges addressed. Now there's a challenge!  Parents who begin an early practice of such analysis of feedback cues, the identifications of source beliefs which bring emotional signals, and suggesting improved strategies for reducing painful feelings and increasing joyous ones, set the stage for continuous internal self-analysis within a healthy child. Such an approach can quite quickly attune an individual to the spiritual information cycle such that even without a group forum, the child will automatically conduct the self-analysis to constantly live under the direction of spirit. Each daily experience can be analyzed to mine spiritual wisdom to achieve the maximum self development and expression. The child is then prepared to understand, adapt, and succeed within diverse environments, as well as to build solid, supportive, enlightened, rewarding relationships with others, and share his or her light with the world.  Once children begin to attend formal schooling and bring their experiences home at the end of the school day, the importance of a parent's presence in the home is almost impossible to calculate.  An enlightened family lifestyle also provides broad and open physical boundaries and many opportunities for experience outside the comfort of the home environment. Just as the mind is stimulated by ideas, the spirit is stimulated by a wealth of experiences. Once the cycle of internal thought, external action, external result and internal feeling feedback is embraced, the more external experiences the better. Every child should be traveled so that they are apprised of conditions existing in many diverse environments. These include anything and everything from work places, museums, shops of commerce, artistic events, halls of academia, halls of justice, places of religious worship, political forums, community action events, multi-cultural systems of living, diverse ethnicities and world views, distant geographic locations, places of natural beauty, and even the positive and negative groupings which represent the successes and failures of group mind. the footsteps of experience should meander into all walks of life.  I once read the definition of a well-educated person describing same as "one who is at ease in any situation". This would seem to be able to come about only through a broad range of education and experiences of all kinds.  This external exposure provides a mechanism wherein the child can reconcile the differences between the ideal and the actual, between the family environment and those with any disparity outside the door. The idea that a child can be sheltered, or isolated from the shortcomings of the world is an antiquated, misguided, fear-driven practice, and one that can leave a child ill-equipped. Optimistic realism is the key. Exposure can also bring understanding, tolerance, and appreciation for the broad choices available to humans, as well as the effects and limitations of such choices. It can offer opportunities to recognize and fend off efforts of others to control or to emotionally manipulate. Broad experience will greatly reduce fear and increase courage. For invalid fear inducing beliefs will naturally give way to more spiritual knowledge as the emotional system faithfully and accurately reports the positive and negative aspects of any given situation, and the mind correctively responds.  It is the fear of the unknown and imagined threats that get the greatest grip on us, for we end up fighting our own imagination without our "knowing" it as a reliable ally.  In sum, the parental role in mental development is to create as many opportunities as possible to take in, analyze, and discuss various beliefs, strategies, and actions. This will maximize formative brain growth and set the mind on a life-long course of self-development.  We, who have gone beyond the years of parenthood, are the transitional generation. To us falls the responsibility of regaining the role of "wise elders", so that what we are learning from this material can be passed on to the next generation, both by word and by example.  The Parental Role €“ Emotional Development”  Even within existing limitations, development of body and mind are already far less mysterious to parents than the development of spirit. Despite the best intentions of the religious community, spiritual development is notabout church, rules, and holy books. Spiritual development remains a mystery due to the predominant misunderstandings about the voice of spirit, the emotional system. Thus, spiritual development begins with emotional development.  It is for this reason that the parental role should be predominantly one of protection and restrained guidance. By encouraging greater contact and acceptance of the innate spirit wisdom available to each child, we can ultimately create a more spiritual world.  The spirit, from the moment of birth, already knows what is best for itself. If caregivers provide a stimulating and accommodating environment, the child can safely experiment with the growing knowledge, heeding the feelings as a guide. They can test skills and beliefs in the world and constantly refine and build upon them. Within this framework, the child can come to know the individual needs as they naturally unfold as motivators to action. But none of this is possible unless emotion is allowed to play its proper role. And very specific experiences must occur for the emotional system to fully engage.  The goal of the parent should be to provide a free, stimulating environment of multiple choices, with an atmosphere of physical needs and protections, balanced in an environment of love and trust. Engaging The Emotional System  The secret to understanding emotional development begins with the basic cycle of need, feeling, expression and feedback from the world. For example, if the infant child (a boy perhaps) is hungry, lonely or unduly constrained, his needs are not being met momentarily. Thus, his spirit is frustrated and the emotional signal sounds. He feels bad, so he uses his innate expressive response to those bad feelings; he cries. His behavior of crying acts upon the environment, and generally the caregiver responds by satisfying the need. When his survival needs are satisfied, all is well again, the child feels good. This cycle is repeated many times in a given day. With each successful cycle, he gains confidence in his own abilities to meet his needs and control his destiny.  I remember seeing a segment on African family village life. The moderator pointed that the children of the village were always attended by whoever was available, if not the mother, up to a certain age. At that point, they put aside their need for this attention and began to explore their world with the full confidence that their curiosity would be satisfied. American parents often place their children in the care of strangers with too many children to take care of. Emotional needs go unmet and in the later stages of development, emotional problems are evident. But, of course, any study which verified such evidence could not be well received, at present.  When the cycle is consistently successful and the infant's actions create the desired changes, he will begin to recognize the cycle (and it can be pointed out directly by the parents when language is in place). The parents can talk about needs, connecting them with the child's actions, and how they feel when satisfied. They can casually, yet consistently, refer to the child's mind, or to the spirit, or to the body, so that he will grow up with the natural understandings of the division between these aspects of self. As the child becomes more sophisticated, the parents can clarify the three purposes and connect them to the needs and the behaviors, so that the child understands the whys, the hows, and the whats of being human.  This can be guidance without guilt, fear and anxiety. The results have got to be better than what is so often produced in today's society. Also, if violence in parenting can be reduced, it's attraction for younger minds will also, become more popular.  Such development of emotional understanding engages the spiritual adjudicator, and allows the higher purposes their rightful place in motivation. Thus, emotional development depends upon this cycle and the child recognizing and embracing all that it means. A child with adequate emotional development will be prepared to undergo the lifelong development of emotional intelligence that characterizes an evolved human being.  If there is a concern that this might produce a less "manly" male because of the greater attention paid to emotional aspects of human beings, it would be well to consider that young males devoid of feelings are capable of atrocities that end up on the evening news. We are losing more young people to violence in this country than we are losing in our "wars" overseas, by far.  Unfortunately, a more normal state of affairs on Earth at this time is one in which humans are inadequately emotionally developed, unable to tap the wisdom of spirit, and are separated from the higher purposes. They are then limited only to the basic purpose of self-preservation of body, imprisoned within predominately painful emotional signals of fear and anger, and their choices driven by competitive fight and flight reactions which perpetuate individual and social chaos. Such a state is separation from Divine will and loss of individual will and purposeful application of power. This is why the parental attention upon emotional development is now essential. For there are profound implications and painful outcomes of inadequate emotional development at the root of most "evil" human actions.  If the above paragraph does not make the point clear, I'm not sure what can, except maybe, being a victim of the negative qualities that currently predominate.  Attachment, Trust & The Learned Emotions  A crucial understanding for anyone taking on the parental challenge is to recognize that without adequate emotional development, certain feelings will never fully arise. Complex emotional signals are learned and must be purposefully and carefully instilled. Recall that the primary emotions of spirit, (i.e. joy, fear, anger, and sadness) combine and mingle with the local customs and beliefs to develop the learned emotions of mind. The emotions of mind include all other subtle shades of emotional feeling (i.e. guilt, confidence, hope, envy, pride, shame, remorse, etc.) These feeling signals are learned through experiential interactions with the world.  This speaks to the idea of getting married and becoming a parent at an age when full control of the emotional qualities has not yet been mastered. What is taught to the child, especially at an early age, is most often that which is best remembered.  The emotions of mind come quite naturally when the child's needs are accommodated, so there is no huge task involved other than setting up the proper conditions. The conditions mentioned above are optimal, but in any environment where there is reasonable freedom, need-meeting opportunity, and exposure to ideas, these emotions will arise. This is why so many humans with widely varying cultural traditions have successfully learned these feelings despite the many obstacles.  When two people from differing cultural backgrounds come together to rear a child, that child is being exposed to what can and should be the best of both "worlds", providing the parents are intent on passing on the best their respective cultures have to offer.  However, it is also why many have not. This is why some humans have not learned hope, confidence, or remorse. This is why there are often artificially created feelings of shame and guilt that drive humans to hate themselves. It is also why there are artificially created feelings of false pride, envy, fear, and anger which create emotional boundaries between groups and drive humans to hate and violate one another. Certain mental and criminal conditions spring not fully engaged. Mistrust and disengagement comes when the world does not consistently allow the needs to be met, or the feedback cycle to return to the state of fulfillment.  Parenting is probably our least taught skill. Because of the propensity to emphasize the diversity in our religious and philosophical views on morality and because of the false pride taken in those beliefs, a defined base line of child rearing is most difficult to arrive at. Yet, were the intent to be shifted to what is best for the child versus what is important to the parent, much progress could be made in this area.  The critical concept here is trust. It shouldn't seem unreasonable for an infant to expect to be able to trust the words and actions of those in the family home or foster community, nor for loving parents or caregivers to consistently deliver. The dependent nature of humans upon one another is the Divine way. Trust is the understanding and faith in the cooperative nature of the world. This is why without a cooperative, trustworthy early environment, the spirit will simply vacate the body. Those that are born to chaotic worlds where a minimum level of cooperation does not exist, will die. Those that are not fed will starve. Those that are not handled, loved and stimulated will fail to thrive and die of loneliness. Those who must constantly compete for basic survival will lose to the "fittest" competitor.  It is said that "death finds an excuse". Sometimes those "excuses" are of a subtle, emotional nature, which we humans are yet to fully understand and appreciate.  Thus, a basic trust that the world will respond to one's efforts is part of the Divine plan. Unfortunately, trust can be compromised and not allowed to fully develop due to inconsistent actions of parents or caregivers. Consistency is the key. Ideally every interaction would build trust, and every cycle would end with fulfillment, with only an occasional lapse. But when the cycle ends in repeated frustration more often than fulfillment, trust is compromised. Trust is also compromised when parental strategies include physical punishment for ordinary learning errors rather than corrective feedback. Violent punishment is rarely necessary within the enlightened approach. Simple removal of freedoms, time-outs, and consistent restrictions, can allow a child to recognize quite quickly that the amount of freedom and power depends upon the amount of responsibility and accountability to that freedom. Violent punishments can only emotionally confuse, negate trust, and invoke survival defenses.  Here, again, parents are prone to repeat the patterns of behavior they were subjected to as children. Those who have conducted themselves in less than enlightened ways during the child rearing period of their lives can only know regret. However, if they can impart this information on to those who are about to, or are now involved in child rearing, recompense can be made.  Once trust is compromised it is very difficult to fully restore. The body will not let the mind forget anything that has threatened it. Without a sufficient level of trust, the individual is condemned to a life of dysfunctional relationships of a singular existence wherein self-preservationary motives undermine cooperation, communication, and intimacy. The worst outcome, however, is that a lack of trust does not allow the emotional system to fully engage, and the voice of spirit remains inaccessible.  In a society that thrives on mistrust, insecurity and fear, this conditioned lack of trust is most difficult to overcome. However, if the society can realize the value of altering itself to the benefit of those who threaten it the most, positive change can evolve.  Many anomalies of human behavior spring from this basic lack of emotional attunement and development. Scientists have already recognized that there is an essential attachment period wherein an infant bonds with caregivers and learns to trust. This period falls within the window of opportunity of brain development to establish the relationship with the specific cultural world. Trust must enter through this window or forever be questionable or conditional. Trust is the foundation for all cooperative impulses and the precursor to hope, confidence, pride, self esteem, and faith in spirit. Trust is the assurance that one's actions will have a predictable impact, on the world. It is the foundation upon which human intimacy, communication, and cooperation exists. Without trust there can not be hope. Trust in family, trust in businesses, trust in government are all essential to a well functioning society; and behind all of this "trust" must ultimately be truth.  The attachment period facilitates the successful learning experience wherein the cycle of action and reaction is established, and predicts each success for future interactions. It is where one is assured of the rightful power to control and influence one's world. It is where one is assured of the Divine meaning and spiritual connection within existence. Attachment occurs through a process of repeated successful interactions between the infant and the caregiver, wherein each responds to the other's words, cues, and actions. When parents consistently respond to the needs, over time, the child begins to experience a deep, affectionate, close and lasting tie. This loving tie evidences spiritual fulfillment and the trust that the environment will continue to provide opportunity for this type of need satisfaction.  The rule should be obvious. Early experience in attachment leads to lifelong attachment, so long as a parent makes himself/herself available in times of need. The trick is to maintain the love while giving up the control.  Over years and years of successful trust-building interactions, the child develops a healthy connectedness to the caregivers and other people that constitute this community, as well as hope for the future. Trust becomes interwoven with all mental beliefs and strategies. Eventually this connectedness will generalize to all humans. This sense of connectedness perpetuates what we generally call "a conscience," which makes us accountable for our actions upon our loving others. It instills the understanding that we are all part of a greater spiritual whole. With conscience, a violation upon another is equal to a violation upon the self. Valid, natural guilt is when a person feels the very pain they have inflicted upon another, experiencing remorse, resolving to never repeat the violation. The mind that violated did not yet know, and the remorseful mind has learned a better approach. A mature conscience needs no external controllers whatsoever. Such a conscience is the Divine innate seed of natural morality lying dormant within each human, desired by the Creator to bloom forth.  The difference between contrived guilt and natural guilt is in whether the source of the guilt is self-created or imposed upon us from an outside source. Guilt can be used as a weapon by one person against another, as well as a method of control. But positive guilt is that which comes from within and is triggered through empathy with those whom we have offended.  Conversely, if a child survives being raised in a chaotic, neglectful, rejecting, or abusive environment, the message received will be that cooperation is not to be expected or relied upon. It breeds the fear-driven belief that needs cannot be consistently fulfilled, control is only intermittent and the spirit is disempowered, even violated. Since the child is powerless to alter these conditions, the spirit will continue to shout its message through feelings of anger. Since the child can not yet interpret the anger and choose a developmental or expressive response, the anger is utilized by the body to ensure self-preservation through primitive versions of the fight or flight responses. (Remember, the body will bypass the mind if it does not hold beliefs that will ensure survival.) Competition for scarce resources, for opportunity, for need fulfillment, and for love, will dominate each thought and deed. The higher purposes of mental development and spiritual expression will always take the back seat to physical preservation. The conscience of such an individual will motivate a morality of "every man for himself."  With the above paragraph in mind, we might want to give some closer reflection to the competitive system in which we live. If cooperation creates trust and distrust creates anger (and violence), would we, as a society, not benefit by encouraging the former and reducing the latter?  Just as competition will be the main motivator in such cases, the predominant feeling will be anger. The anger can be expressed in one of two directions. The child can turn it inward toward himself, by choosing to accept the limitations of the world, effacing the spirit and losing touch with his needs. Strategies of self-deprecation, learned helplessness, martyrdom, and self-hatred can become enduring personality traits. Such a choice can lead to an ultimate state of depression or even dissociation and the dependence upon escapism from the ongoing spiritual pain. Compulsions, addictions and self-destructive behaviors can then occur. Suicide is the ultimate act of internally directed anger.  The road between internally directed anger and ultimate self-destruction is usually long enough for most people to observe and correct it. Understanding the source of this anger is a first step in that process of correction.  The other option is for the child to reject the conditions and turn the anger outward in explosive or violent acts that can be quite anti-social, if not pathological. He might never develop trust, conscience, remorse, nor connectedness to his fellow human beings. Never being able to achieve intimacy or love outside the family, or to build support networks, this child (and eventually this adult) will be quite capable of acts that effectively cultured people would perceive as unconscionable or evil. Most such acts would be misguided competitive attempts to meet needs in some manner or simply express the pent-up anger. Murder is the ultimate act of externally directed anger. The effect upon the world of such an individual will be most damaging. The effect upon mass consciousness of such individuals will be the mass belief that humans must be controlled by society. Thus, all social controls (i.e. rules, mores, religious dictates, laws, and prisons) have arisen due to this condition.  Each time a violent act (such as murder) is committed, society feels obliged to stifle it's own freedom of expression. Eventually, the decision to substitute total security for any degree of freedom will lead to tyranny. Examining the roots of aggressive anger can help us to understand and avoid a destiny of spiritual decadence.  It is essential for individuals and societies to understand the critical nature of this early period and to accommodate and ensure paternal efforts to adequately complete this bonding period. For a child who is not attached to others, cannot fully hear the voice of spirit. Such a child will suffer continuous emotional problems and lack the compunctions of conscience, necessary in a cooperative world. Anything less will breed criminals and other social outcasts, doomed to a future of alienation, isolation, retribution, and pain. Creating trust-building conditions is not a difficult task. In fact, it takes quite a bit to disallow the trust to develop, yet far too much neglect and abuse still exists.  In the past, welfare regulations established an environment that penalized recipients who allowed a parent (usually the father) to occupy the same household, while rewarding the other parent (the mother) for having more children. This often reduced the time the mother could devote to each child, while being deprived of the assistance of the other parent. The consequences of this "state" are coming increasing evident as we continue to construct more prisons.  In sum, if the foster environment does not provide opportunity for its individuals to meet their needs, human beings cannot properly develop. Such a tragedy is quite avoidable, yet its results can drive humans to quite inhuman acts against one another. Scientists are not convinced that such misaligned people are redeemable. Yet the power of spirit can heal all wounds if given its proper voice. In fact, there are some very enlightened spirits who even, in childhood, enlist self-love, compassion, tolerance, and forgiveness who can overcome quite severe conditions of neglect and abuse. The voice of spirit is loudest and most clear in such hearty children even if a minimal connection is allowed. But once disconnection occurs, an effort to reverse the condition requires intensive long-term restructuring of the entire mental realm.  It may turn out that the best environment for correcting this wayward course of life, lies in the prisons we continue to place these alienated people in, and the best people to help with this correction are those who are, themselves, the inhabitants.  However, this is not to say that children should be molly-coddled and that parents should jump at their every whim. Indeed, there is a very important difference between needs and wants. If the environment is unchallenging and over-accommodating, the child will be robbed of developmental opportunities. Emotional signals of boredom and contrived annoyance will then arise. Or, if the freedoms offered or challenges undertaken are more than the child is equipped to handle, anxiety and fear will be elicited. Both broad and safe boundaries must be defined and maintained.  The act of simply loading down a child with every stimulating toy the child asks for or the parent is motivated to buy, can result in the opposite result as that which is intended. There are times when parents have to say "No", for the sake of their children and their own pocketbooks.  In this case, other kinds of emotional problems will result. Such unrealistic expectations can become firmly rooted maladaptive beliefs which also generate feelings of anger. This would be the case of the "spoiled brat" who lashes out in tantrums against a world that is not immediately accommodating all whims and wants. Indulgent conditions can instill false pride, vanity, envy, and hubris. Such a child has developed a very unrealistic view of the world, which may set them up for a big fall in other, more challenging or dangerous environments.  There is a difference between unlimited freedom to have everything one wants and intelligent expression of desires. The former leads to eventual self-destruction. The latter leads to growth and fulfillment.  Essentially, parents could achieve a balance by providing opportunity to accommodate all human needs, and offering the tools to the child to develop skills to attain his or her wants. With age, the children should be increasingly responsible to meet their needs themselves. Genuine pride and esteem are the natural rewards for such developmental successes.  This is the positive guideline which, in the end, contributes to the benefit of society, as a whole.  Cultural Manipulation of The Emotional System  The latter example calls attention to the fact that culture can taint feeling. It is crucial also for parents to understand how the emotional system can become entangled with the local values, truths, and activities of the culture. All emotions---even the emotions of spirit---can be affected and elicited simply by the contents of mind. (Remember, feelings help the mind to learn. Any cultural truth will work unless it violates a natural one or conflicts with another). This is why the rules of response require looking first to mind before looking to the outside world for needed changes. Anything the mind chooses to believe goes, and takes on positive emotion as a gem, until it is proven otherwise by spirit. As conditions change in the world, such beliefs are meant to give way to improvements. Instead, they can linger and cause pain. If not discovered, similar slivers will be added, building upon the faulty foundation, creating complex belief systems which ensure disempowerment. An imagined limitation is every bit as emotion-invoking as a real one. Imagined demons can elicit powerful self-preservationary responses upon innocent others.  Dogmas of religion, for example, that tend to put limitations upon free will, are able to slip in as slivers when the established content of our beliefs is completely turned over to the outside world. This is known as blind faith and once control is accepted by one institution (such as religion), other institutions (such as government) will move to take advantage of the easily controllable.  Thus, the most important implication is that parents understand that what they teach will take on emotional flavor. The primary challenge is to turn on the inner voice of spirit within the child. The secondary challenge is to minimize the passing on of any beliefs which go against spirit. Instead of being understood as an internal control and advisor, emotion has often been used by parents in ways intended to impart external advice and control. Parents should avoid such emotional manipulation in every way. Although punishment remains a primary strategy of parenting, it should now be apparent that fear and anger should not be motivators while parenting. Adjusting the boundaries of freedom and level of parental intervention to match the level of responsibility and accountability is the key. But one emotion in particular has been used as a time-honored tool of such manipulation and deserves special mention.  Making this shift of behavior will require most humans in parental roles to move beyond the beliefs they were taught by their own parents and make that paradigm leap to a new level of understanding. The whole process of doing this has been outlined earlier and the motivation, if not previously explained to sufficiency, will most certainly follow.  A Word About Guilt This is the emotion of guilt. It is a common practice in many, if not all, social systems to set behavioral rules and codes to which a member must conform. A connected and healthy individual will then experience guilt if their actions do not conform to the rules.  So we can conclude by the above, that "guilt" is an essential quality of a society that imposes its rules of behavior upon its members. This, of course, is guidance from a source outside of ourselves. Once we are able to shift to internal guidance, guilt should go the way of error.  Guilt is intended to help the mind find conflicting beliefs that go against the needs and workings of spirit. It is intended to point out where the action choices have not aligned with the beliefs and values. It is intended to be used to elevate the needs of spirit above the unnecessary limits of local tradition. Guilt is not necessarily indicative of an active conscience. People can learn to attach guilt to virtually any activity judged to be unacceptable by their local society. Guilt often exposes an inner motivator that is simply more powerful than the external controller. The intended message of guilt is to straighten out the priorities and to drop any rules that are limiting to the needs of spirit---often exactly the opposite of its culturally implied meaning.  The difference between what "guilt" is intended to do and what it ultimately results in, is evidence of what can go wrong when such an emotion is placed in the hands of those more enamored with power than spiritual development. But when in place as an internal guide, it can alert a person to the spiritual impropriety of adopted rules and practices. Had German citizens been listening to their inner guidance, the holocaust might have been prevented.  But guilt has become a powerful manipulative tool which pits humans against their nature to the end of perpetuating certain cultural traditions, mores, and rules. Guilt is one of the most powerful tools of religion.Thus, feeling guilty has become a routinely accepted part of human existence. An enlightened mind never accepts external dictates, ideas, or "truths" which dishonor or reject internal (physical and spiritual) needs.  Sometimes, even nationalism, when robbed of the institutional rules that guarantee the responsible exercise of free will, will become akin to pseudo-religion. Governments than lay "guilt trips" upon citizens who decline to support a particular policy, i.e. an immoral war. Yet guilt is rampant and often compounded by another emotion of mind---shame. Guilt and shame are often associated with normal bodily drives and functions. Some local traditions adopt extremely limiting and rigid beliefs which institutionalize shame. For example, a belief exists known as "feminine shame" wherein an entire sex is taught to be ashamed of their very bodies. A web of customs is built around the "dirtiness" of being female, complete with body coverings, subservient behavior, and a rank status below that of males, and even the acceptance of violation and abuse---a web which entraps and disempowers any spirit born into a female form. Each tradition is empowered by institutionalized guilt.  To greater or lesser degrees, this condition exists in most, so called, civilized societies today. In societies where "feminine shame" did not exist, westerners sent missionaries to establish it.  A more generalized guilt has been established throughout many local communities regarding sexuality. Human sexuality is a Divine gift, the ultimate act of mental, physical, and spiritual connection between humans in the flesh. It is such a powerful force that almost every society believes that external control must be placed upon humans lest all sexual hell break loose. Sex has taken this bad rap due to the self-preservationary responses. Like any joyful or pleasurable experience, it can become a compulsion if used as an escape, or a violation if used to seize power or vent aggression. But like any natural process, when allowed to work in concert with all three purposes, human sexuality needs no external limits. Instead, children should enjoy an open, respectful, anticipatory understanding of the natural beauty and divinity of sexuality---in whatever form the spirit has chosen---balancing the joys of spiritual, physical pleasurable communion of flesh with the responsibilities of health and procreation.  The puritan influence present in the establishment of the country is still firmly in place, to the point of invoking punishment upon those whose conduct strays beyond the legal boundaries of proper sexual mores and choices, even into the privacy of one's own bedroom.  The bottom line is that most guilt and shame is unnecessary. Parents must pay particular attention to guard against the perpetuation of any cultural directive that pits the mind against the needs and purposes of body and spirit. The only durable cultural truths are those that allow all purposes to work together. A child should be made aware of the Divine nature of the body, its processes, and its needs, and never to feel guilt or shame over the physical form. Any such cultural assumptions should be soundly rejected. (This goes for any and every religious dictate that instills guilt over any naturally ordained Divine process. Any such assertion defies the intention of the Creator it claims to serve).  Struggling out of an established environment of decadent practices will likely result in pitting one generation against another, as those freeing themselves from burdens such as "guilt" will also move beyond the institutions that have for so long used such methods of control.  And finally, parents must resist the temptation to utilize guilt as a mechanism of control. Such a strategy is not only doomed to failure, but it perpetuates needless pain. Mechanisms of external social control are not necessary when the social system has been designed according to the voice of spirit. Forgiveness is the key in learning situations. Errors signal opportunity to learn. Any actions of the child which elicit feelings of remorse should be interpreted as those of spirit asking for integrity, accountability, and consistency between thought and action. Parental faith, compassion, and forgiveness allow any missteps to be kept in proper perspective and the child to use this information to further develop the mind.  A child raised with the best of guidelines listed above, will naturally gravitate toward an environment where the consequential qualities will blossom and have a positive effect on the world around him/her.  Such a parental approach will foster the faith, compassion and forgiveness of self that are necessary for any human to thrive and creatively express self in the chaotic world of daily trial and error learning. Indeed, it will be those who reconnect with spirit and follow its urgings who will change the very world. Thus, it is essential for each enlightened one to ensure the enlightened perspective is carried forth throughout subsequent generations. Therefore, the paternal role in inculcation is a particularly important one.  For those of us who are beyond the parental stage in life, it behooves us to recognize the spiritual value of what has been conveyed in these Lessons and be prepared to share the information when an opportunity presents itself, as it surely will.  In sum, the role of parents can profoundly influence the incoming spirit. Thus, some primary conditional prerequisites for anyone choosing to be a parent are: the understanding of the importance of the parental role, the lifetime commitment to the child, the ability to provide a safe, accommodating environment, essential need-meeting opportunities, enlightened self-understanding, a network of family and community support, the faith in the integrity of the spirit, a faith in the divinity of life's natural thrust, and a wellspring of pure spiritual, unconditional love. Once adequate inculcation has been attained, the human is then ready to pursue a lifelong course of development, which we can now discuss.  Table of Contents